Dear Beth
by puckerbray
Summary: Quinn writes Beth a letter on her 2nd Birthday, explaining everything. Quinn/Puck.


_Authors Note: Alright, so the story is kind of AU. The inspiration for this letter actually came from an RPG i'm active in, where i play Quinn. So, i kind of just went with everything that happened in the RPG, not the TV show. Either way, I loved how it turned out, and i wanted to share it. (:_

_Reviews are always appreciated, Hope you enjoy. :D

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Dear Beth,

Hey beautiful girl. Happy Birthday. I can't believe it's already been two years. It seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital looking at you through that glass window.

I know you won't read this until you're much older, but I need to tell you everything. I want you to understand why we did what we did. Let's start at the very beginning.

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young maiden named Quinn Fabray. Quinn had an ideal life. She was the head cheerleader, president of the celibacy club, and she was admired by everyone in the Kingdom. In this very Kingdom lived Noah Puckerman. Noah was a troublemaker. He lied, cheated, and stole to get what he wanted. And it just so happens there was something very precious he wanted from the young maiden, Quinn. And without hesitation he took it from her and foolishly, she gave it up without a fight. Thus, you were created. For a long nine months, Noah and Quinn drove each other crazy. Sometimes they fought and bickered to the point where they almost hated each other. Then there were times that they were completely in love, and nothing could tear them down. Noah even sang Quinn a beautiful song; a song they named you after. And before long, you were born.

This is where this story becomes more like a tragedy. Oh Beth, you were the most beautiful baby girl I'd ever seen, and I'm not just saying that. The second they put you in my arms, I knew I never wanted to let you go. I will never regret the decision I made for you, but not a day goes by that I don't wish you were with me.

People said I was selfish, giving you up like that. They all thought the only reason I did it was so I could maintain my reputation. That wasn't it at all, Beth. I don't ever want you to think I gave you up because you would have been a burden on me. I considered keeping you on many occasions. Especially when Noah and I were together. He wanted to keep you, Beth. He really did. It hurt me so much to tell him what I decided. I made the decision for all of us. I didn't give Noah as much credit as I should have, because he's an amazing guy, and would have been a great father to you.

In the end, I knew that I couldn't give you the life you deserved. Noah and I were not ready to raise you. We got on each other about everything, and I didn't want to bring you up in a world of fighting and arguing. You didn't deserve that. Most of all, I wanted you to have the things I wouldn't be able to give you. Being a teenage mother meant I wouldn't be able to go to college or get a good job to provide for you. I would end up working long days at a department store, or long nights as a waitress, only earning enough to give you the bare necessities. You deserved so much more than just the necessities, and now you have that. Please understand that I stand by my decision, and that giving you up was not because I didn't love you, or want you. I love you so much that I wanted to give you the best life possible, and I hope I did.

I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone else, okay?

About three hours after you were born, Noah and I came to see you in the hospital nursery. We watched you through the window, and talked quietly. He asked me if I wanted to keep you. I said no. I knew this killed him, but to explain it would have just made it hurt more. Then I asked him if he had loved me. You want to know what he said Beth?

"Yes. Especially now."

Now, you be a smart girl when you grow up. If a boy ever says _anything_ like that to you, make sure you don't let him get away.

After he said that, I looked at him and he looked at me, and then he smiled the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. It was right then and there that I knew everything would be okay. That no matter what happened after that day, I'd be okay, he'd be okay and you'd be okay.

It was right after that conversation that your mommy, Shelby walked over. She looked at you and smiled, and it was settled. I knew right away that Shelby would adopt you, and you'd have a wonderful life with her.

The day I left the hospital was the worst day of my life, because I was leaving without you. I held you for hours that day, not knowing how I would be able to hand you over. You just slept and slept. Then when I had about an hour left before Shelby would be there to get you, you opened your eyes. I smiled at you. Your eyes matched mine flawlessly. You didn't cry, you just looked at me, and I looked at you. In that moment you were the most important thing in the world to me. I sang to you. Well… I hummed. I knew if I'd dared open my mouth, I would start sobbing. So I quietly hummed "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles while I gently rocked you, tears stinging my eyes. You looked up at me, and I could have sworn I got the smallest smile from those soft little lips. You fought sleep, blinking a few times before you finally drifted off. That was the last time I saw your beautiful eyes, because half an hour later the nurses took you away for some final tests.

I refused to cry until I got home. As soon as I shut my bedroom door behind me, I let the tears fall. For days, I cried. I knew you were alright. You had everything you needed and you were going to be happy, but I wasn't so sure I was. It was so hard to let go of everything about those nine months, especially you.

Now I want to tell you a little bit about my life after you were born.

The rest of my summer was miserable. I rarely left the house, I didn't sleep or eat, and I thought the pain would never go away… Noah and I didn't speak once that summer. He called me a few times, but I knew the conversation would be too hard, so I never answered.

School came back around before I knew it, and I was back on the Cheerios. I think the only reason I rejoined was so I'd have something to keep me busy. There wasn't a moment that you weren't on my mind.

Noah and I barely spoke, unless we had to. And soon after school started, he landed himself in juvie. I'll let him tell you more about that when you're older. While he was gone, I started seeing this other boy. But I won't tell you too much about him, he's not important anymore. It wasn't until he got back that Noah and I started talking again. It was weird at first. We avoided talking about you, because it was just too painful. But it wasn't long before we fell in love... well, we were always in love, but this time around it was inevitable. We spent all of our time together, and we were absolutely crazy about each other.

Well, it was right around your first birthday that me and Noah were foolish, and I got pregnant again. At first, I wasn't sure what would happen, but he stuck with me through it all. He even bought us a beautiful house and for Christmas I bought us matching rings that said all of our names, even yours. I got him a guitar with your name on it, he loved it.

A few months later little Devon James was born. It's hard to look at him and not think about you, but I know that even though you aren't with us, you're having a wonderful life with Shelby. I hope one day you and Devon can be good friends, after all, he is your baby brother.

A few months ago, Noah proposed. It was surreal. Remember how I told you he was a troublemaker? Well, he actually broke into our high school and proposed to me in front of my old locker. It was truly one of the happiest moments of my life. Then he took me to the choir room, and serenaded me. That's the thing about him, he just loves to put you on the spot and sing to you. I've lost track of how many times he's done that to me. I'm sure he'll do it to you some day too, so watch out.

We're getting married in August. I'm sure it will be the greatest day of my life. Not just because I'm marrying the love of my life, but because you're going to be there to share it with us. If it weren't for you, Noah and I would have never gotten together, so it means that much more to have you there with us.

Never forget that I love you. I love you more than the moon and the stars. With this letter, I'm sending you a book my mom used to read me when I was a little girl. It's my favorite, and I want to share it with you. My favorite line from that book is something I never want you to forget:

_"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." _

I also sent you one of the rings I told you about. It has all four of our names; Noah, Quinn, Beth, and Devon. It probably won't fit you for awhile, so I put it on a silver chain. I know you won't wear it until you're older, but I want you to have it now.

I love you so much, and I miss you every day. Remember, you're always in my heart, and I'm in yours, no matter what. Noah and I can't wait to see your smiling face at the wedding, it'll be a day we never forget. We love you, and are so excited to hold you in our arms.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl. I look forward to seeing you grow into a beautiful person. I know you will do great things with your life, and always remember that I'll support you in anything and everything you do. You will always be my little girl, and I will always love you.

Forever, Quinn


End file.
